We were thrilled to find out on Sunday’s episode of Kate Plus Eight that Kate Gosselin, the single mom of one year – and eight kids – has appointed herself an “expert” on the single parent lifestyle and will be writing an instructional manual for fellow single moms and dads.
What a joke. Her situation is different from real single parents. Not all of them can afford to pay for nannies, personal chefs, bodyguard. etc. etc.. She think she's a prime example of what "single parenting is". This is complete BS. I wonder what the manual will include? Here is a good guess...
1) If you have Asian looking babies, make sure you put them on TV to earn a living.
2) You must hire 4 full-time nannies to replaced your one spouse.
3) A full-time chef should be considered so you don't have to cook. Because you're busy not working.
4) Make sure you call the paps before you and your kids leave the house.
5) Be sure to hit the tanning salon and hair salon a few times a week. Because, again, you need to take a break from not working.
6) Make sure you do one interview a month bashing your spouse to make yourself look better.
7) Don't forget to walk around your front yard in your bikini because why not? You're not working.
8) Make sure to talk about how healthy you are eating because "pretending to eat healthy" is everything. Her kids eat TONS of eggs. They should have their blood checked for high cholesterol.
9) Be sure you cry about going broke once every few months.
10) Make sure you walk around in designer outfits after you cry about going broke. Because people need to know that the money is well spent.
11) When you kids say "hi" to you, Make sure you smack him in the face for "breathing your air".
12) When your kids blow a whistle outside while you are on the phone, make sure you smack your kids in the behind and scream really loud, scaring the crap out of them.
13) Make sure your favorite kids have their birthday celebrated at least 3 times. Because they're more special than your other kids.
14) Cook eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then cry to TLC about not having enough eggs so they can buy you a chicken coop and give you a special TV show about it. Because raising chickens and buying a chicken coop is a lot more convenient then going to the groceries.
15) Make sure your BFF is always with you. Heck, tell her to divorce her husband so she can move in with you. And tell her that if she does, you'll offer her a gig on your reality show.
16) Write a manual on how to be a real single parent. Because you have all the time in the world while the 4 nannies care for your kids.